Welcome back, kiddos. For those of you who overslept this morning, congratulations on a Thursday morning well spent. I, for one, am less than stoked to see the sun before the break of noon and the throng of freshmen that are sure to swarm and endanger the streets. For those of you who are now looking back on this summer through a lens that resembles a kaleidoscope and smells not faintly of Admiral Nelson, I applaud you. If you’re among the miserable souls who spent the summer boosting your resume, well, you only have yourself to blame. And, for those of you who spend the last three months in IV, well, some things are better left unsaid.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: On that note, the weekend starts tonight! And I know I didn’t just hear you mumble something about a Friday class. I know you’re not that guy.