The Weatherhuman

April 30, 2009

The Weatherhuman Becomes a Fashion Advice Columnist

By The Weatherhuman

Point of fact: glasses don’t make you look smart. Well, not if you’re sitting in lecture in board shorts and a tank top, texting away to your brosephs about what a crazy night you had last Tuesday. They still...

April 29, 2009

It’s for Your Own Good

By The Weatherhuman

Have you heard about this whole emergency provision to ban drinking on the beach, just because it got out of hand once? It's frightening business, but at least it makes sense.

April 28, 2009

liek omg guys!

By The Weatherhuman

OMG guys, the day's finally here. Death Cab is coming!!! I'm soooo excited.

April 27, 2009

I Want a Recount!

By The Weatherhuman

You all failed me. All I asked was that you band together just a little bit to elect the Weatherhuman as A.S. president, and you let me down. Thanks guys. To make it worse, A.S. didn’t even include me in their elec...

April 23, 2009

Self-Reflection

By The Weatherhuman

Facebook recently told me that “Two of my friends are fans of God.” Sweet. Really glad I now know that. That’s so useful, I think I just might tweet about it. Or better yet, I’ll start a shitty ba...

April 22, 2009

Sandwiches and Vaginas

By The Weatherhuman

I love the service sector. Seriously, the shit you guys have to put up with late at night in Isla Vista really ought to earn you a fucking medal.

April 21, 2009

The Weather Platform

By The Weatherhuman

Vote Weatherhuman! I'm running on a platform of embarrassing A.S. for all the stupid shit it pulls and bringing it down from the inside.

April 20, 2009

A.S. Is Not News

By The Weatherhuman

The Weatherhuman hereby endorses the Weatherhuman for A.S. President.

April 16, 2009

Blast From the More Recent Past

By The Weatherhuman

Due to a grossly incompetent, underweight, allegedly male opinion editor who shall remain nameless, today's weather comes to us from the past. Like, yesterday.

April 15, 2009

Blast From the Past

By The Weatherhuman

Due to imaginative and budgetary constraints, today's weather comes to us from the past.

April 14, 2009

A Mustache

By The Weatherhuman

You have one.

April 13, 2009

40 Days and 40 Nights

By The Weatherhuman

I hope you had a happy Easter and, more importantly, a happy end to lent. How'd those 40 days go?

April 9, 2009

Bowling Gone Wrong

By The Weatherhuman

Seriously Zodo’s? Were you even trying? I imagine some evil rival bowling alley might have paid for that ad in your name just to fuck up your reputation… if, in fact, there were a rival bowling alley around h...

April 8, 2009

Weatherhuman for Mayor!

By The Weatherhuman

Damn you, JMike! Every year about this time, when A.S. elections are rolling around the corner, I embark on an awesome journey to become the next A.S. President.

April 7, 2009

Smells Like… Chicken.

By The Weatherhuman

Today, we have a very special, experimental Weatherbox.

April 6, 2009

Floatopia Transmitted Infections

By The Weatherhuman

So I'm back from my one-day hiatus, and while I can't divulge the details of my mysterious disappearance, just know that it involved several transsexual hookers, a Bolivian jail, a whole lot of blow and what I believe wa...