Damn you, JMike! Every year about this time, when A.S. elections are rolling around the corner, I embark on an awesome journey to become the next A.S. President. Then when that doesn’t work and I’m humiliated at the hands of J.P. Primeau or some other “non-anonymous person,” I try my hand at the Nexus editor in chief election. And while every year I fail at that as well, I keep on trying out of principle. I’m like the Ron Paul of UCSB. But JBama has upped the ante. He’s made my antics played out and antiquated. Thus, I’m announcing my candidacy for Santa Barbara Mayor. Fuck you, Nexus — you’re on your own.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: Weatherhuman for mayor! It’s slightly less crazy than that other guy.