So I’m back from my one-day hiatus, and while I can’t divulge the details of my mysterious disappearance, just know that it involved several transsexual hookers, a Bolivian jail, a whole lot of blow and what I believe was the illustrious Muffin Man. Don’t fret though, I was back in time for Floatopia — which should I think henceforth be known as “Angry Bros Fighting on Cliffs and Subsequently Falling Down Day”. Also, did anybody else notice the one skank in the pink dancing on that roof? Bravo, random ho. You spread airborne syphilis to hundreds of beachgoers below.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Airborne syphilis becomes the most googled phrase of the day. Spoiler alert: it’s real. And you have it.