Seriously Zodo’s? Were you even trying? I imagine some evil rival bowling alley might have paid for that ad in your name just to fuck up your reputation… if, in fact, there were a rival bowling alley around here. Actually, come to think of it, what the fuck are you advertising for anyway? If you really wanted to do an ad, it should be as follows. “Zodo’s: Because if you want to bowl, you don’t have a choice. Bitches.”

Tomorrow’s forecast: Several students suffer seizures from looking at the front page. In response, Zodo’s unveils a catchy new slogan!