Today’s weather is more of a public service announcement than anything. Ladies, some of you have a problem… a conspicuous, eye-catching problem. And seeing as your friends are too polite to tell you, it now becomes my duty to inform you all from my veil of anonymity. This may come off as harsh, but I’m just going to be frank about it: You have a mustache. People notice and they judge you. Get rid of it.

Tomorrow’s forecast: The empowered womyn of the world rebel against their chauvinistic oppressors and embrace their ‘staches, sporting facial hair that would make an adolescent boy jealous – but mostly disturbed.