Fed up with your roommate? Seeking sweet, subtle revenge? Well before you dust off that can of rat poison, I offer you a more clever, albeit less legitimate suggestion: Offer to do their grocery shopping, and do it at Keg N’ Bottle. Pick up anything on those shelves that isn’t alcohol or munchies, and you’ll find that it probably expired before the Internet was born. I guess when the sales from your overpriced booze rival the gross national product of a small country, you have the luxury to stock or not stock the shelves as you please.

Tomorrow’s Forecast: I.V.’s most popular liquor store faces a Health Dept. inspection, and subsequently the weatherhuman faces death threats.