People I Don’t Like

April 8, 2008 by

I really can’t stand this new “People You May Know” section on Facebook. Yes, I know these people, but I don’t want to know them anymore. If I did, I’d search for them my...
read more

Weather

March 4, 2008 by

So you're sitting in class half-heartedly working on the Sudoku while wondering if your T.A would trade a passing grade for sex, and then it happens: The person sitting next to you moves their foot an...
read more

“Straight Cash Homey”

February 26, 2008 by

I’m amazed that the idiots at the Prevention Research Center would send me a long survey and a $10 bill and think that the money would actually inspire me to fill out the survey and send it back...
read more

First Class Operation

February 19, 2008 by

Apparently three Ohio couples decided that Valentine's Day was as good a time as any to get married.
read more

Bush, Dick and the Hummer

February 12, 2008 by

Look I'm not going to get in the way of today's planned protest, but I want to make this very, very clear: Stay the hell away from the 217 this year.
read more

Juicy Election

February 5, 2008 by

Not to sound too cliché, but everyone really should exercise their right to vote today, especially considering just how huge this year’s electoral results are. I originally walked into the ...
read more

Correction

January 30, 2008 by

The ‘human had a lot to say today but someone at the Nexus screwed up. Check back tomorrow. Maybe. Correction In yesterday’s Finance Board article, the Black Student Union was funded via t...
read more

Weather

January 29, 2008 by

Title: Bra-ve Sales Choice Bravo to a British retailer named Asda, which recently announced that it will no longer discriminate against bustier babes by charging more for bigger bras. Apparently all t...
read more

Mile High Flub

January 22, 2008 by

An online survey found that two-thirds of Australian travelers want to join the Mile High Club. It’s hard to believe that a third of the respondents said no, although I guess I can see what thei...
read more

Changing changed change

January 18, 2008 by

Apparently people were getting trampled and straight up mollywhopped at the entrance for the Clinton speech last night, since they only let 900 people in.
read more

I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman

January 17, 2008 by

Judging by all the liberals fainting around campus yesterday, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that one or both of the Clintons are coming to town.
read more

Is That How You’re Going to Say It?

January 16, 2008 by

Does anyone out there know why the airlines switched back to regular pretzels as the in-flight snack?
read more

The Crooked Truth

January 14, 2008 by

I've had a whole weekend to think about it, and I'm still not entirely confident that the death of the crooked necked giraffe was au naturel.
read more

High on Not Working

January 11, 2008 by

You probably didn't know this, but my column is constrained by a character count.
read more

Name Game

January 10, 2008 by

I usually have no pity for the kids of Francisco Torres - in fact I may or may not be one of the people who drives by and yells "Fuck FT!"
read more