I’ve had a whole weekend to think about it, and I’m still not entirely confident that the death of the crooked necked giraffe was au naturel. Animals don’t just stop eating. Now I’ve never seen this deformed freak of a creature in person, but I’m assuming that the crooked neck didn’t stop Geoffrey’s cousin from eating comfortably. It just doesn’t add up. All signs point to a zoo cover-up, possibly even – dare I say it – murder? Someone really needs to get on this right away. Has anyone even checked the tiger cages yet? Those lion wannabes are causing all sorts of trouble lately.
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Not Ahab, but his name sounds just as foreign…
The giraffe was probably killed by the same person that’s been killing all the whales in the area. You know the guy. He’s the one with the Facebook group dedicated to his whale-killing prowess.
Well, it only took a week for the inaneness of this column to return.