An online survey found that two-thirds of Australian travelers want to join the Mile High Club. It’s hard to believe that a third of the respondents said no, although I guess I can see what their problems are. It’s hard enough to do anything in those flying toilets, let alone try to have sex. I can’t even wash my hands in an airplane bathroom without getting water all over myself. God knows how many people have seen me walking back to my seat and figured that I pissed myself from a fear of flying.

Tuesday’s Forecast: Am I the only one that thinks this is a plausible explanation for why Flight 815 from Sydney to Los Angeles crashed on an island? You can’t possibly tell me that Sawyer wasn’t boning a stewardess in the bathroom when shit went haywire.