Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

Frat Guys: Expectations vs. Reality

October 28, 2014 by

We had to do it.
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Overheard in IV

October 27, 2014 by

Isla Vista: the Holy Grail of underage drinking and the epitome of college towns. Us hardworking and dedicated students of UCSB may be studious during the day but by nightfall, we know how to let loos...
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9 Ways To Master Sex in a Bunk Bed

October 24, 2014 by

Moving out of your parents' house and moving in to a place of your own in college is a great opportunity … for sex. Well, it's also a great opportunity for independence and self-discovery, but mostl...
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Yang the Giant to Perform at UCSB

October 24, 2014 by , and

  Out-of-towners crowdin’ your lawns? Headache-inducing floodlights ruinin’ your buzz? No-music ordinances killin’ your vibe? No way! Come join the many faces of Yang in the Thunderdome on ...
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10 Things UCSB Alum Steve Aoki Can Probably Do

October 22, 2014 by

Survey results were recently released that ranked UCSB alumni among the "least dateable". Personally, I think these results are entirely absurd. UCSB alumni are among the greatest in the world, and in...
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Retraction: “ISIS Seizes FT, Establishes Gaucho Caliphate”

October 21, 2014 by

The Daily Nexus has retracted the satirical Nexustentialism blog post titled “ISIS Seizes FT, Establishes Gaucho Caliphate,” published at 5 a.m. on Oct. 21, due to the piece’s lack o...
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ISIS Seizes FT, Establishes Gaucho Caliphate

October 21, 2014 by

Members of the jihadist Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, took control of Santa Catalina Residence Hall, also known as F.T., late Friday night and declared the dormitory the “Gaucho Caliphat...
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Overheard in Isla Vista

October 20, 2014 by

As we all know, people in Isla Vista live for the weekends. After a long hard week at school, students look forward to a relaxing, fun weekend. This could range from a night in or a night roaming the ...
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Pumpkin Shortage Incites Sorority Outrage

October 15, 2014 by and

Due to a particularly warm and dry summer, many local farms are reporting lower-than-average pumpkin yields, creating a severe pumpkin shortage in the greater Santa Barbara County area and eliciting f...
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10 Questionable Yik Yaks You Need to See

October 9, 2014 by

As I recently scrolled through my Twitter feed, I stumbled upon an ad for Yik Yak, and in a boredom-induced impulse, I downloaded this mysterious app. What I discovered was life-changing: people make ...
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Why the UC Mascots Suck

October 5, 2014 by

When you really think about it, they all really do suck.
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