Deltopia has come and gone, and now that the hangovers have fully subsided, many Gauchos have found themselves mourning their individuality. Frequent unintentional twinning has taken a toll on student...
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To kick off this March, here’s a list of the top five women that you already know I’d make some good history with.
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Have you given your Black friends $5 for Black History Month yet? If not, you are FAR behind schedule and third year Morris Martin is not afraid to let it be known.
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In a discussion with his girlfriend, Whole shared that he refused to celebrate the holiday in any capacity due to its sickening association with all things capitalist and corporate.
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“No! Get down! Your goddamn boyfriend won’t stop humping my leg!!!!”
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Trick or treat! This year’s Halloween costumes have been really unique and well thought out but none quite as much as your roommate, who has been planning for this moment since the moment they met y...
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Hey gorg us. How would you like to see BIG BOOBS and BIG’s BUTT tonight.
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I have the plant with me now, and using my lightsaber, I’m able to light it and start smoking in the purple glow of my saber. Fuck yes.
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When asked if she was carrying a purse throughout the day, Chu smirked and claimed to not be “one of those weak bitches.”
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“Go forth! Let’s smoke that dope za — or whatever the kids say.”
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If you see me popping my pussy in a parka, either tell me that you like my outfit or stay in your fucking lane.
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This year, I especially want to thank everyone who invited their mom for Parents’ Weekend, and I want to assure you that we had a lovely time together last night.
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“Like, it’s so stupid. He’s literally losing his chance, and I have, like, everything he could ever want!” says Starchy Malessence, “I don’t know what to do!”
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Hopefully when these people see this list, they might rethink their lives and stop being such fake fucking bitches. One can only hope!
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So, if you’re not sure about what to do when you find yourself out with your most diverse group of friends, look no further! We’ve got you covered!
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Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
