Trick or treat! This year’s Halloween costumes have been really unique and well thought out but none quite as much as your roommate, who has been planning for this moment since the moment they met you.
“Do you mind if I look in your closet really quick? I’m trying to put together my costume,” they asked politely.
Being the gracious roomie you are, of course you were happy to oblige. As they scrounged through your clothes, you noticed they didn’t really look at all in the Halloween-y party part of your closet at all and instead were rifling through your everyday looks. When they pulled out a shirt you had worn to class on Thursday, you were officially confused as to what exactly their costume was supposed to be. Upon noticing the confused scrunch of your face, your roommate finally explained.
“Oh, I’m going as a dumbass fucking bitch, so I thought it would be easiest to find something in here rather than my own closet!”
Damn! Like, sure, maybe you never cleaned the bathroom or the kitchen or the living room or the bedroom or washed your dishes or helped buy anything or do anything useful in general, but that seemed like a bit much to you! Moments later, your roommate emerged from their room, dressed from head to toe in your very own swag. Although it was hard to admit, you had to give it to them, they looked like a dumb ass annoying as fuck bitch. As people started getting to your place for the pregame (the one you didn’t tell your roommate about), you were surprised to see them all immediately know what your roommate was supposed to be.
“Oh my gosh! Are you a stupid annoying motherfucker?” asked your friend.
“No, actually, I’m a dumbass fucking bitch! But I totally get how you might’ve seen that,” your roommate replied, all smiles.
Well, unfortunately for a dumbass fucking bitch like you, it doesn’t seem like Halloween will be all that fun. Shoutout to your roommate though, they look awesome! Be sure to let your roommate know how smart and funny and awesome they are, especially for putting up with a roomie like you!