Weather

The Mysterious Mipple

Life is full of mysteries. ... Who shot JFK? How do they get that cream filling into a Twinkie?
read more

Next Time Won’t You Sing With Me

Given the fact that today is 4/20, the Weathercorrespondents and I have compiled the "stoner alphabet" for your numb-minded pleasure.
read more

Ooooh

Spring is here, and you know what that means. Untalented skateboarders.
read more

Cockfights

Most "important" holidays have two sides: the story adults believe and the story children believe.
read more

The Intro

I have the social skills of a leper. A dead leper.
read more

I’ll Hang Out With You … For a Fee

Seeing that the Weathergraduation is in June, this is my last sorority rush, and I'll admit that I'll miss them ... but only for their comic value.
read more

Going up?

I hate people.Especially in elevators.
read more

Do the Nasty

There are a few things in this life that make me cringe, but nothing does the job quite like accidentally making direct, skin-to-plastic ass contact with a public toilet seat.
read more

President Weatherhuman

Look out.A fresh, new set of useless people has gathered in front of the Arbor to throw their bodies in front of the innocent in the name of ass-kissing.
read more

Teamwork

Professors control class size, grading and which kinds of sexual favors make up an acceptable bribe, but students hold the ultimate power: the ability to end class early.
read more

Go Home

In the words of the late beloved UCSB English professor Frank McConnell:"We don't do shit the first day, we don't do shit the last day. I don't know why the fuck they even pay me."
read more

Crack-Smoking Overachievers

When I was five, mean old ladies with superiority complexes and yellow teeth patrolled the playground armed with pink slips, whistles and explicit threats to "tell my teacher."
read more

Meet Professor Digit

Everyone goes into new classes not knowing quite what to expect. With that in mind, I sat down in an “easy” non-writing class yesterday.
read more

Victorino and the Mighty Fish Taco

I made a new friend last week. I purchased two fish tacos and a Coca-Cola Classic for a small Mexican boy named Victorino, who was trying to sell me friendship bracelets. Unfortunately, he was out of ...
read more