Weather

To All the Contra Fans In the House

October 9, 2001 by

I’m terribly disappointed with the camera resolution on the latest war. CNN footage looked like a close-up shot of slowing elephant dung. For the billions we drop in defense, we deserve satellit...
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“I’m a people person.”

October 5, 2001 by

Rejoice, you poor bastards. You may be in class on a Friday, but it could be worse.
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Weatherhuman and the Angry Inch

September 26, 2001 by

People fucked up, so I have no space today.
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Weather

September 20, 2001 by

The ex-weatherhuman told a lot of dick and fart jokes. Students loved it because they’re dick and fart people who’ve simply learned too many synonyms. They want sophisticated variations su...
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The Weatherbook … You Know You Want It

May 31, 2001 by

Over the past few weeks, I have spent countless hours of intense drinking and half-assed planning (I pulled my first UCSB all-nighter on Tuesday) to bring you 104 pages of pure Weatherlove.
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What Are You In For? … I Taped Myself to a Building

May 30, 2001 by

I'm so proud.One my very own Weathercorrespondents, Conor Buckley, won my annual Freak Show award for taping himself to the Music Building yesterday.
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There They Go, Alana and Michelle

May 29, 2001 by

Congratulations to Weatherfans Alana Kapust and Michelle Rieger for winning my first annual Weatherpageant.
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Get Out of the Weatherpool

May 25, 2001 by

Everyone loves a good freak show. Yesterday, on my way to the office, I saw a clan of gifted souls engaged in some sort of sophisticated splashing display in the Reflection Pool.
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It’s Alive … It’s Alive!!!!

May 24, 2001 by

Beware: The Weatherbook is coming.
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Petroleum Problem

May 23, 2001 by

Petroleum jelly is sick. Everyone knows it’s for lubricating a) your skin, or b) your baby-maker.
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ABC – Almost as Bad as Ccccccccccccccc

May 22, 2001 by

A long time ago, the Weatherroomates and I decided not to get cable. In a normal town, we would get four semi-clear channels and two squiggily ones.
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Happy birthday Mr. T!

May 21, 2001 by

Yes, Mr. T turns 49 years old today.
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The Meatheads Are Restless

May 18, 2001 by

My, my, my ... the meatheads are trying to revive UCSB football. What a great idea. Football died here in the early '90s. Why?
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Ding!

May 17, 2001 by

The bus scares me. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could easily wind up making a 45-minute commitment to State Street.
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Boozin’

May 16, 2001 by

Fat people can drink a lot.I'm not basing this argument on simple logic, or even the cruel stereotypes surrounding those drunken porkchops wearing mu-mu's at the Orchid Bowl.
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