Petroleum jelly is sick.

Everyone knows it’s for lubricating a) your skin, or b) your baby-maker. But the label offers no guidance about what to do after you lube up.

Once your hands are slathered in that sloppy skin sauce, you are immediately stranded in an impenetrable fortress of gooiness that takes days to conquer.

Wednesday’s forecast: Dryness in the morning gives way to three days of gooey discomfort.Help.