Beware: The Weatherbook is coming.

The entire Weatherposse has locked itself in the Weatherlab for weeks to distill only the finest, funniest, deepest and most disgusting columns from the depths of the Weathervault.

Upon further review, we concluded that some of my columns were shitty. Really shitty.

These columns do not appear in the Weatherbook.

We found the Nexus’ first Weather ever, and concluded that it was shitty. Exceptionally shitty.

This column does appear in the Weatherbook.

We have been taking photos of turtles, mipples and froggy pops. We have been drawing pictures of Victorino, yard duties and meatheads.

All to bring you some good toilet-reading material (plus, it’s printed on single-ply in case of emergency) to keep around your I.V. shithole for years.

Thursday’s Forecast: 100 percent chance of being enlightened while doing a #2. Stay tuned.