Weather

Right Back At Cha, Teach!

November 1, 2001 by

WeatherLonghand is almost as recognizable as the scrawlings of a dyslexic howler monkey. I use my chickenscratch sandscrit style to great effect, as revenge during midterms. The thicker the course rea...
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Entertaining the WeatherFam

October 31, 2001 by

The weatherfamily arrives today. Weatherdad has a conference to attend (i.e. an excuse to get in a few rounds of golf.) Weathermom wants to see the town (i.e. an excuse to spend money in overpriced bo...
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I There A Procrastination Gene?

October 30, 2001 by

There are two ways I write a college paper. The first way is a frenzy of last minute research followed by a paper that is in no way good, but not worse than the usual bullshit. The second way is to tr...
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You have the right to sit on the curb, sucka

October 29, 2001 by

There sure were a lot of people dressed up as mean cops this weekend. I had no idea the costume was so popular. The mean cops had talent too – they never drank, or danced, or even cracked a smil...
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KEEE-YAAA! Extreme Quarter

October 26, 2001 by

Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year.
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They Burn Leeches, Right?

October 25, 2001 by

The weatherroommates and I are in mourning today
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What are the Chances?

October 24, 2001 by

Whenever midterms are pinning me down, I try to get some perspective. It could be worse. Atrsweek editor Eric James, for example, just got her wallet stolen in Hollywood by a 7-foot tall drag queen cr...
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The Rump Halo

October 18, 2001 by

I don’t get this new female jean style. Massive fading strictly applied to the ass cheeks and thighs make it look like a lot of cowboys ride your saddle. It also looks like you’re going fo...
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What’s That Running Down Your Leg?

October 17, 2001 by

Whenever I interview someone important like a presidential candidate or a celebrity, I don’t imagine them naked. I imagine them with diarrhea. Everyone gets the Runs, even cool people. When you ...
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Blowin’ in the Wind

October 15, 2001 by

In an arena full of fans, not one could sing along with Dylan's own distinctive dialect of the English language.
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Iron Guinea Pig

October 15, 2001 by

I am teaching the weatherpet self-defense.
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Rent Control

October 12, 2001 by

There is an apartment building on Abrego called "Casa Dinero Perdido." The weathermate tells me that this translates roughly from Spanish as "the house of lost money."
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D’oh!

October 11, 2001 by

The Simpsons was my only break in a long strenuous day of meteorological study and gesturing in front of a blue screen. Yes, yes I know there is one episode at 6- but really, is that enough?
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Weather Palace

October 10, 2001 by

I am lazy. The weathercave is cold in the winter and hot in the summer with extremely poor plumbing. On the bright side, it’s stationary. All I ask for is a home without wheels. So, while the we...
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You’re Like, Famous

October 9, 2001 by

I successfully resisted the urge to say painfully obvious things to him such as, "You're Dennis Miller," or "You really sucked on Monday Night Football."
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