I am teaching the weatherpet self-defense.

Since he arrived the weathermates have proposed shaving him, making him wear a diaper, putting him in a dryer, cooking and eating him and masturbating his tiny unit.

Kubrick-style I have positioned his cage in front of the TV playing a barrage of Billy Blanks “Tae Bo” and Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyrie.” If this is successful I intend to use him for protection in I.V.

Tuesday’s Forecast: You may be picking on him now, but he’s learning Tae Bo.