I don’t get this new female jean style.

Massive fading strictly applied to the ass cheeks and thighs make it look like a lot of cowboys ride your saddle. It also looks like you’re going for a baboon-style presentation of your butt.

I mean, halo-butt is cool – if that’s what you’re into.

Thursday’s forecast: Rump halos stoke the morning wood and burn the fog off by 1 p.m.

Correction: A column last Thursday should have said the Linguistics Dept. is located in South Hall. The Nexus regrets this error.