Weather
The Hometown WeatherQuintilogy: #3 Santa Barbara is too expensive for people with actual problems. Ridiculous local apartment rents equal a house mortgage in any rural shithole, so you can’t aff...
read more
Going home is always heavy. Friends and family can really jack up their lives while you’re away. I’ve found the majority of the hometown heaviness involves just three things: Drugs, babies...
read more
My home town is full of mutant people! Obese mutants! Acned mutants! Jesus mutants! Mutated Mutants! Witness to such perverse genetic disaster require months of trauma counseling among Santa Barbara&#...
read more
Here at the Nexus, we believe in giving credit where credit is due. In the traditional Nexus sloshball game against A.S., held last weekend, there was much that was deserving. For example: although th...
read more
The weatherfather instilled valuable advice via fear. To prevent the weatherchildren from swimming in the lake he described amoebas. Amoebas, as I understood them, were amorphous carnivorous demons fr...
read more
So I have a pumpkin.An eighty-plus pound pumpkin.As giant pumpkins go, I’m told it’s a small one.The pumpkin is sitting in the middle of my living room, but really, the rest of the living ...
read more
The skateboarders of Isla Vista officially thank the county for its long-overdue road work.
read more
Yesterday a glowing, colorful and perfect half-circle of a rainbow made me laugh and jump for an hour while the warm afternoon rain soaked my hair and clothes. Gorgeous and misty, the bright colored b...
read more
A short explanation of Weather Relativity: We are at the end of week seven and Fall Quarter has been a speedy blur of drinking and dancing. Yet, each one of my shitty-shit-shit-boring-as-hell-shoot-me...
read more
It must be autumn, my bills are changing color. Back in September, when the bank account was in bloom, the bills were a healthy white. But now the days, and my creditors’ patience, are shorter. ...
read more
The weatherpet is afraid of large predatory birds. I have tried explaining to him several times (using visual aides) that he is safe within his weatherpet compound. “I believe that predatory ani...
read more
I went out last night to watch a few members of the weatherposse play intramural soccer. Unfortunately, two players got lost in the fog trying to get there and another fell down one of the holes in th...
read more
The weathermates and I decided to engage in a little sport at the bowling alley this weekend.
read more
Today I took a midterm while ignoring giant purple flashing runway lights in my peripheral vision.
read more
"+"
“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
