The weatherfather instilled valuable advice via fear. To prevent the weatherchildren from swimming in the lake he described amoebas. Amoebas, as I understood them, were amorphous carnivorous demons from the bottom of peat darkened waters which could strip flesh off the bone.

It was only later, when he explained why we weren’t allowed to drink from the hose, that I learned that they were, in fact, microscopic amorphous demons which would tear me inside out.

Monday’s Forecast: Stay out of the water; dunn dah … dunn dah… dundahdundahdundah dunnna daaahh!