LSD is for lazy hippies. The prophet’s trip is sleep deprivation.

Today I took a midterm while ignoring giant purple flashing runway lights in my peripheral vision. Every time I tried to look toward them the purple rows would dart to the edge of my vision.

I decided to just focus on the middle and reviewed the essay prompt. I had trouble, but then Jesus showed up and explained everything. He looked dead sexy in his pair of pink leather chaps.

Friday’s Forecast: The possibility of complete mental and physical collapse is now very real.