Weather: We’re The Golden Children Turning Bronze

The Hometown WeatherQuintilogy: #3

Santa Barbara is too expensive for people with actual problems. Ridiculous local apartment rents equal a house mortgage in any rural shithole, so you can’t afford a severe psychosis, drug addiction or unexpected fetus.

The cost of living in I.V. actually helps insulate our bubble of perfection – people with real problems quickly disappear with their negative bank accounts.

Wednesday’s forecast: Candy-coated sunshine for the golden children turning bronze.