I made a new friend last week.

I purchased two fish tacos and a Coca-Cola Classic for a small Mexican boy named Victorino, who was trying to sell me friendship bracelets. Unfortunately, he was out of “Weatherhuman,” as it is not a popular Mexican name.

Victorino was a very timid boy at first (despite all the hugs and kisses I smothered him with). However, he quickly bridged the language barrier by using the universal communication techniques of pointing, grunting, and persistant crotch thrusting. Needless to say, he fit right in with the Weatherfriends.

Tuesday’s Forecast: We decided to smuggle him across the border in an orange “Little Elmo” pinata, and he now resides with me in the Weathercave. Judging by the increased pelvic thrust per minute ratio, he’s never been happier.