It’s time to take charge.

Professors control class size, grading and which kinds of sexual favors make up an acceptable bribe, but students hold the ultimate power: the ability to end class early.

Professors generally pay no attention to time and dismiss class only when their students begin making their “time to go” noises.

However, most professors don’t realize that we can produce these noises at any time. It all begins with one strategic desk slam or backpack zip that begins a domino effect. A shockwave of rustling hits the professor, and the transfer of power is complete.

It might be rare, but in those beautiful moments when a class functions as a cohesive unit, magic happens and lecture ends fifteen minutes early.

Monday’s forecast: Hazy and boring in the morning, but a shockwave of desk slamming thunder will clear up your afternoon.

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