I have the social skills of a leper. A dead leper. With no eyes or ears. You see, over the last few weeks, I have noticed that I am plagued by the following awkward social play:
Cast of Characters (in order of appearance):
Mutual friend: Mutual friend
“Pat”: Any person I don’t recognize
Act I, Scene i.
A public place.
Mutual friend: Oh, I’m so rude. I forgot to introduce you two. Weatherhuman, this is “Pat.”
Weatherhuman: Nice to meet you, “Pat”.
“Pat”: Umm, no, we’ve met before. A few times.
Weatherhuman: Oh. Sorry. Well, see you later.
Weatherhuman (aside): Fuck.
Tuesday’s forecast: Things look great at first, but then a cold front suddenly moves in and it becomes clear that you will not be getting any from “Pat”.