In the words of the late beloved UCSB English professor Frank McConnell:

“We don’t do shit the first day, we don’t do shit the last day. I don’t know why the fuck they even pay me.”

If there is one thing I’ve learned from all my years at UCSB, it’s that the first week of the quarter is absolutely worthless.

If there is another thing I’ve learned, it’s that the first Friday of the quarter should involve intoxication, not concentration.