Weather

February 14, 2008

Be My Valentine? (Only If You’re Hot Though)

By Staff

Sources around the office tell me that people have been looking for me at parties. Look, I get it. I love myself too. But you can’t expect the ‘Human to show up without an invite. I’m not a freshman, I ...

February 13, 2008

Canadian Board Shorts

By Staff

Since the Nexus doesn't have a fashion section, I feel that I must take it upon myself to discuss a major fashion faux pas that I've seen far too much of over the past couple of weeks.

February 12, 2008

Bush, Dick and the Hummer

By The Weatherhuman

Look I'm not going to get in the way of today's planned protest, but I want to make this very, very clear: Stay the hell away from the 217 this year.

February 11, 2008

What Part of the Chicken is the Popcorn?

By Staff

Those morons at PETA have done it again, this time fighting congressional legislation that would make fried chicken the official picnic food of Kentucky. See what I did there, three of the last eight words of that senten...

February 8, 2008

Wednesday Stumped

By Staff

I usually try not to crack on fellow Nexites, but I can’t help but take offense with the latest “Wednesday Hump.” If you’re writing about attractive presidential candidates, you can’t say th...

February 7, 2008

Driving With the Influence

By Staff

Aren’t you glad that I’m around to bring you stories like this one: Police in St. Augustine, Fla., arrested a motorist for strapping a 24-pack of beer into a seatbelt, leaving a 16-month-old baby girl unrestr...

February 6, 2008

En Route to Canada

By Staff

Seriously people? McCain and Clinton? I realize that most of you probably voted for Obama because it’s the hip student thing to do, but what a disappointing day for California. Forget immigration, the economy, the ...

February 5, 2008

Juicy Election

By The Weatherhuman

Not to sound too cliché, but everyone really should exercise their right to vote today, especially considering just how huge this year’s electoral results are. I originally walked into the office today plannin...

February 4, 2008

This Isn’t What Edison Had in Mind

By Staff

Dude, Southern California Edison: W.T.F.?

February 1, 2008

I’m Not Going to Copy Lunch This Week

By Staff

What’s up, Copy? Three corrections in one week really steals the ‘human’s thunder. Which one of you was it: Sexy Redhead, Bagel Buddy Mel, LEON, Shorty R, K.O., East Virginia, Kera the Psychiatrist, Jea...

January 31, 2008

The ‘Human Broke Your Bike

By Staff

OK, here's the deal people: If your lazy ass got out of bed too late to get to class on time, and thus you're too lazy to park your bike in an actual spot on one of the racks, DON'T FREAKING PARK YOUR BIKE AT THE ENTRANC...

January 30, 2008

Correction

By The Weatherhuman

The ‘human had a lot to say today but someone at the Nexus screwed up. Check back tomorrow. Maybe. Correction In yesterday’s Finance Board article, the Black Student Union was funded via the Student Outreach ...

January 29, 2008

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

Title: Bra-ve Sales Choice Bravo to a British retailer named Asda, which recently announced that it will no longer discriminate against bustier babes by charging more for bigger bras. Apparently all their bras will now c...

January 28, 2008

Four Lives Left

By Staff

A kitten survived a plane trip halfway across the country after accidentally ending up in a suitcase. I'm extremely disturbed by this story, but not for the reasons you might think. Most people are probably going "awww, ...

January 25, 2008

The Dark Side of the Nexus

By Staff

I can’t help but be amused by the fact that yesterday’s Nexus opinion page ran a story about how to beat drug tests on the very same page as James Baron’s letter to the editor complaining about what he ...

January 24, 2008

Brooklyn Bang Dance

By Staff

Dear Weatherprofessors, Due to the unusual amount of rain, I will not be attending classes until further notice. I realize that my absence will be missed, particularly in my [class name removed by editors for security re...