A kitten survived a plane trip halfway across the country after accidentally ending up in a suitcase. I’m extremely disturbed by this story, but not for the reasons you might think. Most people are probably going “awww, a kitten” right now but I could care less. The cat was reckless and I have no pity for the fact that she likely burned through a good chunk of her nine lives during the flight. She deserved it. More importantly, what the hell is wrong with airport security? It’s like they were trained by Richard Reid.

Monday’s Forecast: “Awww look, that stuffed animal looks just like a real kitty. That’s adorable! Now take your shoes off and spread your legs while my security partner comes over and gropes you in search of something illegal.”