Weather

March 10, 2008

I Hate Whoever Complained Today

By Staff

Nice of the corrections people to steal my final box of the quarter (a-holes…). Now I can’t even say a real goodbye as we all head for spring break. To those of you smart enough to find me on Facebook: Congra...

March 7, 2008

Bearfest

By Staff

Seriously? I’m losing half my box to a correction because some guy supported desalination in the 1990s and apparently doesn’t anymore. Does anyone really care? Wouldn’t you rather read my graphic and in...

March 6, 2008

“I Remember, I Remember When I Lost My Mind”

By Staff

First, thanks to those of you who responded to my request yesterday for getting some questions for an "Ask the 'Human" piece. Don't hesitate to keep them coming.

March 5, 2008

Better Mail Than Hail

By Staff

Every once in a while, I’ll get an angry email from someone who just doesn’t buy what I’m selling, but like those annoying Facebook applications, I constantly want more. Which is why for the first time ...

March 4, 2008

Weather

By The Weatherhuman

So you're sitting in class half-heartedly working on the Sudoku while wondering if your T.A would trade a passing grade for sex, and then it happens: The person sitting next to you moves their foot and it touches yours.

March 3, 2008

Mo’ Hair, Mo’ Problems

By Staff

I can’t help but be disgusted by the story about a 6-year-old who was suspended from kindergarten last week after showing up with a Mohawk. I can see suspending someone for growing a mullet, but to punish a kid for...

February 29, 2008

Weather Monologues

By Staff

A woman who teaches DUI rehab classes in Florida was pulled over on Monday and arrested for… wait for it, wait for it… DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE! Only in America, baby! I can’t believe I’m writi...

February 28, 2008

“Julie Cooper’s Gonna Be Pissed…”

By Staff

Color me unsurprised at the news that former television whorebag Mischa Barton was charged with four misdemeanors on Tuesday, including DUI and possession of marijuana.

February 27, 2008

Maybe the Dingo Ate Your Baby

By Staff

There was an Australian guy standing behind me in line at Subway yesterday, and as I stood there debating the merits of ordering tuna at a fast food restaurant, I couldn't help but become extremely jealous of this dude's...

February 26, 2008

“Straight Cash Homey”

By The Weatherhuman

I’m amazed that the idiots at the Prevention Research Center would send me a long survey and a $10 bill and think that the money would actually inspire me to fill out the survey and send it back. Thanks for the cas...

February 25, 2008

Freeballing

By Staff

A British man was jailed for five days last week after getting caught urinating on one of Latvia's most treasured monuments, the ironically named Freedom Monument.

February 22, 2008

Duck Hunt

By Staff

R.I.P to the duck that dropped dead right outside the Nexus office two nights ago and lay there awkwardly for almost 24 hours before being picked up by a man who I can only hope worked for janitorial services.

February 21, 2008

Can’t Spell Cocky Without…

By Staff

On the heels of Barack Obama's recent success, Slate.com published a story yesterday wondering if he was now becoming too cool for his own good.

February 20, 2008

Eric Forman Voted For Obama

By Staff

MSNBC projected that Obama would win Wisconsin last night with 0% of the precincts reporting. ZERO. Not a single vote had been counted and they told us who would win!

February 19, 2008

First Class Operation

By The Weatherhuman

Apparently three Ohio couples decided that Valentine's Day was as good a time as any to get married.

February 15, 2008

Roses Are Red…

By Staff

Oh my God. Two corrections in two days… copy staff, I officially rescind my Valentine to all of you. I have a job to do, I have adoring fans. Stop stealing my box! Also, news staff, how hard is it to get a quote ri...