A woman who teaches DUI rehab classes in Florida was pulled over on Monday and arrested for… wait for it, wait for it… DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE! Only in America, baby! I can’t believe I’m writing about a female driving drunk whose name isn’t Britney, Paris or Lindsay. Yup, this story lost a lot of its sex appeal when I found out it was about a woman who is almost 60 years old.

The story gets worse though: On top of driving drunk, the teacher, 59-year-old Margot “Peggy” Cioffi, managed to hit another car and then flee the scene. I guess it’s true what they say about female drivers, eh?

Friday’s Forecast: Weatherhuman: 1. “Vagina Monologues”: 0.