OK, here’s the deal people: If your lazy ass got out of bed too late to get to class on time, and thus you’re too lazy to park your bike in an actual spot on one of the racks, DON’T FREAKING PARK YOUR BIKE AT THE ENTRANCE TO THE RACK WHERE IT’S IN EVERYONE’S WAY. I’m sick and goddamn tired of having to maneuver my way through a sea of bikes to find somewhere to park. My sexy calves shouldn’t be punished with cuts and bruises just cause I’m a good person who tries to find an actual spot.

Thursday’s Forecast: By the power invested in me as Weatherhuman, I hereby encourage all of you other good humans out there to knock over any bike that’s illegally parked and in your way. I don’t give a shit if they break; the assholes of the world deserve broken bikes.