Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
As UC Santa Barbara’s class of 2027 sat for their convocation ceremony in Week 0, they were blessed to receive an extremely hilarious speech from Chancellor Henry T. Yang. Amongst his timely referen...
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The Mario Kart soundtrack was introduced to me at the ripe age of 6 years old. As I raced through tracks like Koopa Cape and Moonview Highway, my focus shifted from playing the game to listening to th...
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With Halloween gloom in the air (or maybe that’s just my seasonal depression beginning again), what better way to fight off the spooky demons like my Week 3 midterm than by dressing up.
Storkie...
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Trick or treat! This year’s Halloween costumes have been really unique and well thought out but none quite as much as your roommate, who has been planning for this moment since the moment they met y...
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As UC Santa Barbara’s coolest and sexiest new students adjust to their college lifestyles, the class of 2027 goes to new lengths in order to find sex without having to look each other in the eyes. I...
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Chancellor Henry T. Yang announces the reroute of the Tour de France to the UC Santa Barbara bike lanes and enrolls each student as a racer.
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“Yeah, I usually just have a clock open during class. I don’t really need to take notes on the lecture or anything, I am studying the time. I’ve got to get out of here actually,” said second-y...
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After three long years of slaving away (looking on Quizlet) and breaking our backs (using ChatGPT) for our degrees, I can confidently speak for all seniors when I say: We are tired.
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iOlé, Gauchos! UC Santa Barbara, despite its vaguely racist mascot while being a Hispanic Serving Institution, has long been known for having a large population of Latinx students, making Hispanic He...
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Foreseeable by no one and absolutely unprecedented, Isla Vista residents were stunned on Oct. 6 when the raucous college town suddenly fell into the Pacific Ocean.
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Freshmeat will be here before you know it, and as the strong, wise, and mature upperclassmen, we must be ready.
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Print this out, laminate it and carry it around at all times for easy perusal.
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The nausea that you get from being on TikTok for 15 hours every day is the nausea you wish was from a 15 hour flight to Spain.
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Shortly after confessing his deep feelings for Marcy, Deulu decided it was time to end things.
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Honestly, it’s just a really bad financial decision on your part; she would’ve been so popular.
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
