Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
The Associated Students Senate elections closed with a bang last Friday, and not in the way you’d expect. A paramilitary group, armed with nunchucks and BuzzBallz, stormed Corwin Pavilion during a m...
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So the end of the year is quickly approaching and leases need to be reviewed, but you have one critical problem: you want to live with your bestie instead of your roommate! Unfortunately, your roomie ...
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This past Thursday, UC Santa Barbara had a very exciting guest speaker, a real gem within the drilling community. After leasing mineral rights to oil companies on his ranch, RuPaul became a notable ...
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To my dearest Gauchos and fans, I broadcast to you live from my couch in Isla Vista. Tonight, we are connected through nature and its wonderful properties. It’s been an interesting day — Isla Vist...
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History was made in Isla Vista last Saturday, when a member of Sigla Tau Delta’s UCSB chapter found the clitoris. Aidan Thibodeau, a second-year economics major from San Diego County, discovered it ...
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Since the turn of the 21st century, angry bitch feminists have been trying to hold men accountable for their crimes. “You’re being misogynistic!” “You’ve never made me finish!” “#MeToo!...
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Deltopia has come and gone, and now that the hangovers have fully subsided, many Gauchos have found themselves mourning their individuality. Frequent unintentional twinning has taken a toll on student...
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Having sex with other men, being on Grindr, wearing sunscreen — we know these are all gay for you, as a man, to be doing. All across the planet, researchers work tirelessly every day to discover wha...
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The Academy Awards came around and, just like every year, people saw them.
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Kim announced via an Instagram story that he was performing at Baja Sharkeez tonight from 10-11, but the night took an unfortunate turn.
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To kick off this March, here’s a list of the top five women that you already know I’d make some good history with.
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Women are entirely capable of making history on their own, by themselves or with each other.
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Have you given your Black friends $5 for Black History Month yet? If not, you are FAR behind schedule and third year Morris Martin is not afraid to let it be known.
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As we approach midterms, the upcoming election, and bikini season, your head may be riddled with anxiety, feminism, and other nasty ideas. Check out campus’ newest resource to ease yourself of these...
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“The rituals that DAD was making their pledges do were straight up inhumane and physically impossible for many of them.”
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
