Tuesday, July 28, 2026

University of California, Santa Barbara

Binzy Eggbag

October 17, 2024

Communication department to offer new specialization: Professional Bullying

By Binzy Eggbag

UC Santa Barbara has a wide-reaching online presence, able to churn out short “comedic” videos that remind people we have a library. It also reminds the student population that our faculty in charge of those social m...

May 2, 2024

Predictive tabling: dressing to avoid the Arbor tablers

By Binzy Eggbag

Walking through the Arbor is a fate worse than death most days. Those petition-wielding beggars can smell a vulnerable person like a shark smells blood. Tablers will force you into a conversation, even if you had your no...

April 25, 2024

Top 5 tips to be the worst roommate

By Binzy Eggbag

So the end of the year is quickly approaching and leases need to be reviewed, but you have one critical problem: you want to live with your bestie instead of your roommate! Unfortunately, your roomie has made no plans to...

February 8, 2024

No partner? No problem! Print a plastic peen!

By Binzy Eggbag

All students would be given the opportunity to print two false flesh flutes for the price of one.

October 29, 2023

Breaking News: Tour de France rerouted to UCSB bike lanes, all students automatically entered

By Binzy Eggbag

Chancellor Henry T. Yang announces the reroute of the Tour de France to the UC Santa Barbara bike lanes and enrolls each student as a racer.

July 4, 2023

Letter to Disney: I want MILF Padmé

By Binzy Eggbag

Honestly, it’s just a really bad financial decision on your part; she would’ve been so popular.

May 24, 2023

Color-blind Canadian confused to see flag everywhere on 4/20

By Binzy Eggbag

“It’s so nice tah see all the Canadian flags aboot tahday, eh?” said Maple Snowbeaver, the Canadian exchange student in question. April 20: Weed Day.

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Weekly Horoscopes

by @dailynexopinion

The signs as coming-of-age films

Aries

March 21 - April 19

"Holes"

Taurus

April 20 - May 20

"The Sandlot"

Gemini

May 21 - June 20

"Goodwill Hunting"

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

"How to Train Your Dragon"

Leo

July 23 - August 22

"Dead Poets Society"

Virgo

August 23 - September 22

"The Karate Kid"

Libra

September 23 - October 22

"Ladybird"

Scorpio

October 23 - November 21

"Perks of Being a Wallflower"

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

"The Edge of Seventeen"

Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

"Up"

Aquarius

January 20 - February 18

"Mid90s"

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

"Little Women"