No partner? No problem! Print a plastic peen!

All students would be given the opportunity to print two false flesh flutes for the price of one.
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Breaking News: Tour de France rerouted to UCSB bike lanes, all students automatically entered

Chancellor Henry T. Yang announces the reroute of the Tour de France to the UC Santa Barbara bike lanes and enrolls each student as a racer.
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Letter to Disney: I want MILF Padmé

Honestly, it’s just a really bad financial decision on your part; she would’ve been so popular.
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Color-blind Canadian confused to see flag everywhere on 4/20

“It’s so nice tah see all the Canadian flags aboot tahday, eh?” said Maple Snowbeaver, the Canadian exchange student in question. April 20: Weed Day.
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