Faith Talamantez / Daily Nexus

“It’s so nice tah see all the Canadian flags aboot tahday, eh?” said Maple Snowbeaver, the Canadian exchange student in question.

April 20: Weed Day. Everyone adorns themselves in various pot-themed garments to the point where you cannot open your eyes without seeing at least a dozen of those bright green leaves. With the way some people dress, you could easily mistake it for a second St. Patrick’s Day, inebriation and all. However, it seems as though one Canadian exchange student missed the memo.

Maple Snowbeaver struggles with red-green color blindness, a condition that doesn’t bother her too much, but it has led her to become the butt of countless jokes surrounding her questionable perception of the sky’s hue. She did, however, grow up in the Mooseass province of Canada, a region far north with enough year-round snow to be any Hallmark director’s wet dream, leaving her with limited access to greenery — or other people. She was overheard this morning by Mary W. Jane, a young woman that got an early start on the festivities, supposedly saying, “I dedn’t know that so many people were sooch big fans of Canada eh! I don’t think I ever even saw this many flags back hoome eh!” 

A concerned friend of hers, who asked to remain anonymous, stated their concern for Maple: “I’m worried she’ll end up getting passed a doobie when she tells someone how much she loves their ‘Canuck pride’ and end up totally greened out on a stranger’s couch.” They were afraid to say this directly to Maple as she had gotten fairly mad the last time her color blindness was brought up, supposedly going so far as to not say “soory aboot that” for an entire hour while making a big enough batch of poutine to feed her friends for a week. 

As far as anyone knows, Maple was last seen walking down Del Playa Drive singing “O Canada” and draped in multiple pot-leaf garments. She was reported to have been waving a small Canadian flag with a group of freshmen trailing after her asking what strain that represented.


Binzy Eggbag once mistook a maple leaf for pot on the sidewalk and has been unable to live down the shame of trying to smoke it.