Nexustentialism

May 8, 2025

Post-midterm clarity: The real degree was the friends we made along the way

By Kelly SLAYter

After failing my midterms, I have reached a moment of enlightenment: The real degree was the friends we made along the way. 

May 8, 2025

Depressing! Sophomore mourns meal swipes after trying to cook

By Fart Tent

As a freshman, leaving De La Guerra (DLG) for the first time felt like surviving the apocalypse. Free of the active laxatives they lace their food with, now second-year Jenna Ortega remembered returning to UC Santa Barba...

May 1, 2025

Top 5 recession indicators on campus

By Tiny Tinkle

Have you heard of the “R word?” Well, despite your initial reaction, most news outlets are too scared to write out “recession” (not the other one). But here at Nexustentialism, we aren’t afraid to say it. In fa...

May 1, 2025

A.S. candidates compete in “Ugliest Campaign Sign” contest

By Joseph R. Biden

With the Associated Students elections on the horizon, candidates are taking part in the annual tradition of setting up campaign signs on campus. While the main goal of these signs is to gain supporters, candidates appea...

April 24, 2025

Family tours celebrate 4/20 with students

By Calico Critter

After the University of California system released admission decisions in the early weeks of March, campus tours have substantially increased as prospective students begin to decide which university they will attend. At ...

April 24, 2025

“Weed might be bad for you”? MAHA fearmongering goes too far

By Joseph R. Biden

Vaccines cause autism? Seed oils are bad for you? Raw milk is healthy? Make America Healthy Again (MAHA), Robert Kennedy Jr.’s campaign against scientifically proven American health standards, has spread countless base...

April 17, 2025

Bingo! Your next professor may be a lottery hire

By Serrano Ham

University of California, Santa Barbara? More like California Lottery, Santa Barbara. Following the introduction of a lottery selection process for its Honors Program, Resident Advisor hires, on-campus housing and even i...

April 17, 2025

Ewww! Man not hot without the stache

By Tiny Tinkle

I have just had the worst day of my life. My crush has been crushed.

April 17, 2025

UCSB Cancels Congress Class as Branch Deemed ‘Irrelevant’

By Marcus T.C.

Political Science 155L, UCSB’s long-standing congressional simulation course, was not offered this year for the first time since 2010. The course pits students against each other as members of Congress, vying to achiev...

April 10, 2025

D.P. collapses, annual block party renamed “Sabatopia”

By Joseph R. Biden

After 2025’s Deltopia, UCSB’s annual celebration of the beginning of spring quarter, the iconic Del Playa Drive crumbled completely to the ocean. Organizers already anticipate the block party for next year taking pla...

April 10, 2025

Flash mob proposal on Del Playa shocks Deltopia bride

By Fart Tent

For many Gauchos, Deltopia, UC Santa Barbara’s biggest dayge, is the height of the coupling season. Out in the sunlight, all is laid bare for God and Yang to see, leading to many tender moments throughout the length of...

March 27, 2025

Students pollute streets in preparation for Deltopia

By Joseph R. Biden

In preparation for Isla Vista’s annual block party, Deltopia, UCSB students have begun littering Del Playa Drive in order to give visitors an authentic taste of Gaucho life. Students have been spotted dumping extra can...

March 6, 2025

Welcome to the library: the quiet floor was made for other people

By Serrano Ham

It is common knowledge that the top three floors of UC Santa Barbara’s Library, numbering floors six through eight, are the quiet floors, where speaking or making any sort of noise above slightly aggressive typing is s...

February 27, 2025

Radical! Surfer gets hit by cyclist while shredding waves

By Beast Mode

Not even the ocean can keep you safe from getting slammed with the tire of death, as seen yesterday at Campus Point, when a surfboarder looked up from attempting to ride the tube on 4-foot waves and was promptly wiped ou...

February 27, 2025

Deltopia in review

By Fart Tent

Another great Deltopia weekend has come and gone in the sunny streets of Isla Vista. Students poured out this past weekend for the event, bikini-clad for their treks across Del Playa. As early as 4:20 a.m., students coul...

February 27, 2025

‘Deltopia’ movie named last-minute Best Picture nomination at 97th Academy Awards

By Lore Enchew

“Deltopia” was recently added as a Best Picture nominee at the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony, following public pressure to recognize what The Hollywouldn’t Reporter deemed as “the best film [about Deltopia] ev...