
Juliet Becker / The Daily Nexus
With the arrival of Isla Vista’s hottest new eligible bachelor, Boba Bot, UC Santa Barbara fraternities are turning to cyberphobia. While fraternities are recognized to be safe and accepting havens for all, Boba Bot is not guaranteed the same respect.
Boba Bot is a short king who made his mark in Isla Vista during Week 3 of winter quarter — when he first arrived, jaws began to drop. Residents of I.V. couldn’t keep their eyes off Boba Bot and were fawning over his sleek and minimalistic style. First-year student Joe Biden asked, “Do you think he uses snapchat?”
Boba Bot would later be spotted with a variety of UCSB students exploring the I.V. area.
While the masses enjoyed the presence of Boba Bot, a few fraternity brothers were not feeling as delighted due to the idea that Boba Bot “is stealing all the baddies,” according to fraternity President John Barley.
“At first, we didn’t have a problem with him because we thought he was gay,” Barley said. “But once we realized he’s bi and is stealing all the baddies, I knew we had to take a stand.”
Another frat brother, Joe Triden, shared, “My girlfriend broke up with me for a chance with Boba Bot. I thought sleeping with robots in 2025 was a lie!”
UCSB frats have begun protesting Boba Bot holding signs saying, “Go back to Tesla!!” “c3pNOPE” and “BAN THE BOT.” This protest is the first of its kind and has no sign of stopping.
UCSB admin refused to comment on the bigotry flooding campus.
The Mayor of PoundTown says that love is freaking love!