Presidents Day weekend is a sight for sore college student eyes. Coming swiftly after midterms, the three-day weekend was the perfect break for UC Santa Barbara students to relax, taking in all that Isla Vista has to offer. Many students reported they spent the weekend “dayging” or coping with another quarter without a class for their major, but one student in particular spent the mandated extra day off a little bit differently than most.

Fifth-year political science major and white man John Smith claimed to have treated Presidents Day as any other Monday and attended his classes — business as usual. Smith proudly carries self-made membership IDs for UCSB Campus Democrats and a feminist movie club, and claims to be “blue to [his] core.” 

“If you were to cut me open you would see that I bleed blue,” he said. 

“Monday should be recognized as any other day in my opinion,” Smith continued. “I voted for Joe Biden the first time, and I would have done it again this time … I voted for Kamala [Harris], ‘blue no matter who,’ you know? So why would I observe a holiday made for an orange version of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen from ‘Dune?’” 

President’s Day was created to recognize George Washington, the first United States President. After informing Smith about the original reason for the long weekend, he said, “Well he was probably racist, homophobic and transphobic too! So either way I’m saying something! Being an ally is a 24/7 job and takes more than an Instagram story repost!” 

Smith is, as far as we know, the only student to “protest” Presidents’ Day by going to his class, despite them being cancelled. 

The Mayor of Pound Town thinks we should celebrate more random people and take the day off!