Opinion
I did it. I took everything I stand for as a human being and threw it out the window. What made me digress to such drastic measures? Nothing more than a simple glance at my calendar: T-minus 14 days u...
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The topic about UCSB officials cracking down on students for off-campus offenses was not handled quite right in Monday's editorial "Hey Teachers, Leave Us Adults Alone" (Daily Nexus, May 15). I would ...
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Knock, knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve, some random guy who is traveling across the country with 10 other people, going door to door asking you to give him money or a check with your pers...
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The ‘human was pleasantly surprised this morning when it read that the store at Buchanan now sells tequila and 30-packs. Much to the ‘human’s chagrin, the whiteboard was wrong. Poor ...
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There's a new craze sweeping Isla Vista. In case you haven't heard, the cookiewich from I.V. Drip is the hottest thing since alcohol getting you drunk. The cookiewich is exactly what it sounds like: a...
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There is always one man that, no matter how sad or tired or depressed you are, can make you smile and ride off with feelings of inspiration, encouragement and joy. That man is the beer vendor. To be h...
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The university administration has decided to treat its students like children. Over the next few months, UCSB officials will discuss whether the university will punish students for alcohol, drug and a...
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The ‘human will be the first to admit that the weather has kinda sucked this quarter. Monday’s forecast: Still pissed about overcast skies and this subpar box? Blame the Nexus for all thes...
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Jake Thorn needs to step back, take a breath and reflect a little more critically on this impeachment he's proposing ("Support Bush's Impeachment," Daily Nexus, May 12). First, let's put all our cards...
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In the coming weeks, Mexico may potentially become more progressive in terms of drug control than the United States. What? How is that possible? Well, the fact of the matter is, according to the Asso...
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Rest in peace, El Taco Amigo. Your all-day happy hour made those morning classes so much more bearable. The ‘human shall miss thee. Friday’s forecast: The ‘human realizes El Taco Ami...
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Remember that whole impeachment thing last quarter? Yeah, well, we're back. Bush is still breaking the law. His approval ratings are still falling. His war is still dragging on. His Republican cronies...
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This morning I woke up hung over. I couldn't find my shoes as I walked out the door of a good friend's house and found myself running to class. My driver's license will tell you that I am 20 years old...
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To whoever scribbled that derogatory remark on the wall of the women's bathroom door in the Santa Rosa Residence Hall, I ask this simple question: Is that all you've got? After all, you're claiming so...
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So the weatherhuman was dumping some weatherwaste in the unisexual bathroom on the seventh floor of the library yesterday afternoon. This unisexual human was doing its best Elvis impersonation loudly....
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Everything shower every day
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Reusing condoms
Collecting tears to water their plants
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Fracking
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Owns seven Stanley cups
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
