YAAAWN
*Smacks Lips*
What the? Who the hell are you? And what the fuck are you looking at? Oh, new students. Well, you are probably wondering what this is for. This is the Weatherhuman–the sexless, anonymous entity that lives, eats and, as you just noticed, sleeps in the Daily Nexus staff box.
The basics of the ‘human: sexless, anonymous, possibly one Nexus staffer who gets paid no extra money for his/her/its services, possibly single–but based on the reaction of the Weathermate, probably not–not a REAL weather forcaster, who loses space to content corrections, runs for Associated Students president every year and makes snarky asshole comments about the news.

Four-year forecast: You never find out who the ‘human really is and die a broken person.