It’s likely that incoming freshmen reading this have many questions about UCSB. How do I get to my classes? Will I get laid on the first night? Should I bring my car to school? I’ll be honest with you: You’ll probably spend a good deal of time lost and alone in your bed missing your high school sweetie with only the frisky Palmela Handerson to keep you company. And yes, you should bring your car.

My freshman year, I eschewed my car for other forms of transportation. Misfortune ensued. First, it’s really hard to transport booze without a car. Thirty packs of beer just don’t fit in a backpack. You’ll have to bum rides from friends, and who wants to beg? Chances are you’re already asking them to buy up for you. It just adds insult to injury when you ask them to pick you up, too.

No car? Prepare to drink lots of hard liquor.

Also, it may seem right now as though you never want to go home again. I didn’t either, but eating in the dining commons for a few weeks will convince you otherwise. With no car, I had to take the Amtrak trains, an ordeal that involved taking a bus downtown and walking a mile to the station.

To make matters worse, the train was always fucking late. I waited four hours at the station once! I lost my iPod that day, too. It was at this point that I decided I needed my car. I told my parents that my backpack was stolen on the bus, and that I needed my car because public transportation was too dangerous.

Actually, I had left my backpack in the De la Guerra Dining Commons. Whatever. After that, my troubles were solved. Once I moved to Isla Vista, I appreciated my car even more. Have you ever tried to bike home with a case of water bottles and groceries? Well, don’t.

If I still haven’t convinced you, let me just point out that my opponent on the other side of the page here is a hypocrite. She has a car this year! For shame.

Daily Nexus Assistant University News Editor Aria Miran enjoys riding his vehicle of choice into the sunset as he laughs at his car-less UCSB counterparts.