Opinion

January 23, 2006

Trivial Party Pursuits

By Sean Swaby

This led me to ponder a rarely discussed level of swine, but one that nevertheless exists in Isla Vista's underbelly of crime. This is a level of asshole that lurks in your parties and reeks of excrement so wretched it m...

January 23, 2006

Room with a View

By system

The thing that most befuddles the 'human about January is why everyone is so eager to look at the 'human's overpriced, undersized excuse of a living quarter.

January 23, 2006

Arnold’s Fee Freeze Is Simply a Start

By Bill Shiebler

It's been an interesting month for all UC students, including us at UCSB. At this time 30 days ago, UC undergraduate students could have expected a $492.00 (8 percent) increase in their student fees next year.

January 20, 2006

An Apology to Our Readers

By The Daily Nexus Staff

We at the Daily Nexus would like to apologize profusely for the contents of Tuesday's Weather column, which included racist and offensive statements, the likes of which have no place in this newspaper.

January 20, 2006

The Weathergasm

By system

It was documented that Hitler could only orgasm when he spoke in public.

January 20, 2006

America, the Liberator

By Colin Marshall

"We should pull the troops out right now," asserted a hunched, eighty-year-old woman. "If some other army told you how to run your country, how would you feel about that?"

January 20, 2006

Thieves Reach a New Depth

By Sean Swaby

A brief summary of a conversation between the roommates this past Monday morning: One enters. "Where have you been?""Buying deodorant.""Deodorant?""Yeah, some asshole jacked my deodorant at the party last night."

January 19, 2006

Early Checkout Is Better than Burnout

By Nick Pasto

A motivational speaker once told me that it's important to set goals if you hope to accomplish anything in life. He then asked me if I had set any goals for myself. I told him that my life's ambition was to light myself ...

January 19, 2006

Scatastrophe

By system

I just found out today that the Sciggity Scat Man has died. Apparently, this happened several scaggety years ago, but that does not detract from the skiddity-magnitude of such a tragedy.

January 19, 2006

Exposed Racist Infrastructure

By Courtney Bowden

When I first read "Race Relations Unjustly Questioned in Katrina Aftermath" (Daily Nexus, Jan. 17) I was disgusted. This is not an uncommon response for me to have after reading the Nexus, which is why I haven't read it ...

January 19, 2006

Says Goodbye to Beloved Israeli Prime Minister

By Neer Lerner

Earlier this month, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a major stroke, accompanied by massive internal bleeding and exacerbated by blood thinners prescribed to him for a previous stroke.

January 19, 2006

Sex Please – We’re British and Inconspicuous

By Sam Solnick Kate Wills

It's hard being British. Or maybe it's not hard enough.

January 18, 2006

Come Slide Away With Me

By Nina Anthony

Once upon a time, the best part about summer was the Slip 'n' Slide. Breaking out that rubbery strip and hosing it down for the kids to throw themselves on was required at every celebration.

January 18, 2006

I Can’t … I’m Mormon

By system

Did you know UCSB is the second-fittest college campus next to BYU? This is bullshit.

January 18, 2006

Sudanese Need Aid, Not Divestment

By Staff

The tragedy of Darfur, for all of us Sudanese, is and will remain a deep scar for years to come. The causes and roots of the conflict are, however, complex and intertwined. One of the tools of the anti-Sudan campaign has...

January 18, 2006

If the Future Has You Stumped, It’s Time To Get Crunked

By Bri Lafond

The plan for the rest of my life is due at the end of the quarter and I've been procrastinating rather badly on it. I mean, I've barely touched the thing and there's the deadline, hovering all big and foreboding on the h...