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You’re Like, Famous

October 9, 2001 by Staff

I successfully resisted the urge to say painfully obvious things to him such as, "You're Dennis Miller," or "You really sucked on Monday Night Football."
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To All the Contra Fans In the House

October 9, 2001 by Staff

I’m terribly disappointed with the camera resolution on the latest war. CNN footage looked like a close-up shot of slowing elephant dung. For the billions we drop in defense, we deserve satellit...
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Not Acronym Crazy? Live With It and Make Up Some of Your Own

October 9, 2001 by Staff

In my five years at UCSB, I have yet to find the "prize-winning science department." I've seen the prize-winning chemistry department, and the prize-winning physics department, but I can't seem to fin...
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Comics: Think

October 9, 2001 by Conor Buckley

Women Should Not Have to Live In Terror

October 8, 2001 by Tara Goddard

It was her fault for drinking and joking sexually with her two male friends. It was her fault for allowing herself to be caught alone with her two male friends. It was her fault for wearing a cute lit...
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UCSB Needs More Parking Structures For Its Growing Campus

October 8, 2001 by John Doner

...there is a proposed parking rate increase of $10 per month for Winter Quarter, followed by another $5 per month at the end of the Spring Quarter.
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Put the Flag Down, Martha

October 5, 2001 by Staff

It's hard to remember what the American flag means when it's used for everything and sold for $19.95 on late-night television.
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“I’m a people person.”

October 5, 2001 by Staff

Rejoice, you poor bastards. You may be in class on a Friday, but it could be worse.
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Learning About Good Looks, Health Around Pretty People

October 5, 2001 by Steven Ruszczycky

There were girls so thin they looked like they'd snap in half if you sneezed on them and guys with chests and arms so thick from gym worship that I wondered if they could wipe their own asses.
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God Is Not on Anybody’s Side When Blood is Spilled

October 5, 2001 by Staff

Today, a friend tried to explain to me why God lifted his veil of protection from the U.S. and allowed the attacks in New York. She said, "You know, God isn't always just a nice guy."
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Learning the Mind-Dulling Acronyms of College Life

October 5, 2001 by Staff

This is not to be a knock on UCSB or its students, because let's be honest - we all know Santa Barbara is known for its party scene more than its prize-winning science department.
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Comics: Think Sand

October 5, 2001 by Shadi Muklashy

Please Hold While We Transfer Your Call to an Imbecile

October 4, 2001 by Josh Braun

Simply put, however, there are times and places where your brain makes the conscious decision that it is just easier to bleed.
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I.V.’s Snakepit of Redevelopment Committees

October 4, 2001 by Brendan Buhler

For the last 11 years, various crusaders, crooks and cranks on the I.V. Redevelopment Agency (RDA) have been working on a plan for Isla Vista.
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Kent’s Column Was Absurdly Broad, Ignorant and Terribly Self-Righteous

October 4, 2001 by Staff

Although within all religious groups there are those fundamentalists who proclaim to have the only true knowledge, this is not the view of all followers of that tradition.
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