Editor, Daily Nexus,

This letter is in response to Alice Shin’s column about the freshman experience (“The Obligatory Column by a Freshman About I.V. Parties,” Oct. 19). Here is my obligatory retort from a jaded wise-ass: I desperately hope she’s not serious. She brought her own car to this traffic jam of an unincorporated area and expected it to be useful for anything other than collecting dust and occasional urine from drunk passersby? I’m not sure how to respond to such a heartbreaking sob story.

My suggestions: If your car is such a terrible, horrible burden to you, leave the damn thing at home. Then take the $250 parking fee and purchase a wonderful technological gadget called a “bicycle.” This will solve your “goddamned walking” problem, too. There are 16,000 bikes and a bike path network on campus for a reason, and it’s not just for the pedestrian-bike collisions. Those are a side benefit.

If such strenuous exercise gets you too sticky and icky, take advantage of one of the more useful public transit systems I’ve seen and ride the bus. Guess what? It’s free.

If your article was a satire, it was brilliantly written. But judging from the people I see on campus, it probably wasn’t a joke. I’m sure you’ll get better adjusted to campus life and maybe even parties. You may eventually start going to 8 a.m. classes in your pajamas like the rest of us rather than in make-up. If not, though, I really don’t care.