Opinion

February 22, 2006

Dirty Dilemmas Done on the Desktop

By Nina Anthony

I met my boss this weekend. It was awkward at first because he knew me, and trying to play off the fact that I was at a loss for who the fuck he was, I called him by a bizarre name and pretended that I recognized him.

February 22, 2006

Revenge of the ‘human

By system

Alas, the Nexus is competent again! Let the mending process between the 'human and the Nexus begin.

February 22, 2006

He Said: Mixing Rocks and Ice Can Only Mean Olympic Greatness

By Matt Dozier

There are certain moments in the Winter Olympics that truly embody the spirit of international competition - the gut-wrenching pace of a short-track, speed skating final, the grace of a perfectly landed quadruple axel an...

February 22, 2006

She Said: Ice Dancing Spins Circles Around Olympic Competition

By Kristen Richer

There are things in this world that just seem like they belong together: Root beer and vanilla ice cream, Christina Aguilera and heavy face makeup, beer and ping-pong balls, herds of freshmen and Del Playa Drive and - my...

February 22, 2006

United States, Israel Must Now Watch Where They Step

By Joel Furman

The Balkan powder keg of today's world, the Middle East, has seemingly inched closer to boom time recently. Iraq shows no signs of quieting down, Iran has become quite the fashionably rogue state under President Mahmoud ...

February 22, 2006

Convicted Murderers Should Kick Can Much Sooner

By Henry Sarria

I'm going to throw a few names in your direction to see if they ring a bell: Albert Owens, Yen-I Yang, Tsai-Shai-Yang and Yee Chen Lin. How about Terri Winchell?

February 21, 2006

Gazing at the Stars

By Jeff Gibson

My footprints disappeared seconds after I left them, eternally swept away from the sandy canvas that they once littered. My trailing thoughts were swallowed by the immensity of such a place so close to home, yet so far f...

February 21, 2006

Generate Bling With Gold Digger’s Guide

By Monique Moyal

Let me first say that if it weren't for that Kanye West and Jamie Foxx song just being so damn catchy, I probably wouldn't have been inspired to write this piece. So without further ado, ladies, I give you ten foolproof ...

February 17, 2006

40oz. To Freedom: Swing For the Fences

By Sean Swaby

Upon leaving this little square mile of heaven in a few months, there will be a few things I'll miss: irresponsibility, my friends, walking to the bar during off hours at work and sitting on the beach in the middle of Fe...

February 17, 2006

Tumbleweeds Anyone?

By system

It's a Friday on the eve of a three-day weekend after the conclusion of midterms. What the hell, no-one is here.

February 17, 2006

Oh the Places You Gauchos Will Go

By David Fuad

As my four years here at college draw to a close and I prepare to enter the rarified world of UCSB alumni, I can't help but wonder about my legacy after I leave.

February 17, 2006

Westerner’s Global Perspective Is Still Lost in the Ruff

By Fergal Madison

It turns out that Marge Simpson was right. Cartoons do cause violence. But even Marge couldn't foresee the chaos of the past few weeks: Embassies burning down, riots in the street, withdrawal of ambassadors - a level of ...

February 17, 2006

All Students Are Suffering When Others Cannot Stop Jabbering

By James Moore

How many of you have felt victimised in lectures by banal mutterings about mentally and physically inept states caused by the intake of copious amounts of fermented vegetable drinks; when vulgar members of the opposite s...

February 16, 2006

Here’s To You, Mr. Garbage Man

By Nick Pasto

My garbage man hates me. He never actually tells me this, but I can see it in his eyes each week as I stumble outside in a tired daze and sluggishly move my car so that he can access our dumpster. I think he enjoys givin...

February 16, 2006

‘Human see, ‘Human do

By system

The Associated Press reported yesterday that Vice President Cheney took the blame for shooting his friend with a shotgun. Cheney said, "I'm the guy who pulled the trigger and shot my friend." Well no shit, Captain Obviou...

February 16, 2006

New G-Bay Will Enliven Enrollment

By Colin Marshall

It's a stressful time of the quarter. While contending with midterms, we're simultaneously required to register for the next round of classes. Who among us hasn't had to flip a textbook's pages with one hand while clicki...