Multimedia
‘Broke’ Sorority Girl Complains About Dues, Has Tickets to Every Festival
I am so over this hypocritical world we live in.
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Amazing! UCSB Student Claims She’s Confident Enough To Wear Low-Rise Jeans!
Readers will remember low rise jeans as the “it-jean” of the early 2000s.
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Batcave Sessions with Milk Drunk
Meet and listen to the most recent winners of the annual UCSB Battle of the Bands competition, Milk Drunk.
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CDC Deems Cats Ungrateful Social Parasites
You may have been infected by Toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that infects its host with an irrational attraction toward feline species.
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10 Things to Do if It Rains During Deltopia
Let’s just say that the future isn’t looking too bright — literally.
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Uh Oh! Your Upstairs Neighbor Bryan is Playing the Guitar Again!
Since diving headfirst into YouTube tutorials, Bryan has quickly expanded his repertoire.
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My Mom Reacts To My Articles
This is supposed to be a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke.
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March Sadness? Pre-Tourney Regional Predictions I Thought Were Safe
Well, well, well. March Madness has once again met expectations, maybe even surpassed them following the upsets that have taken place thus far as we head into the Sweet 16. Staff writer Brandon Victor...
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Student with Poor Music Taste Suffers Ruptured Eardrums in Davidson
“I wish I had listened to my mom when I still could."
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The 10 Commandments to Get Through Finals Week
Surprise! Life isn’t perfect. I’m fucking stressed, for one.
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Labyrinth: Grades Search
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Aries
March 21 - April 19
A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
The angel that has definitely never gone out
Libra
September 23 - October 22
The literal devil
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
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