Blogs

We’ve Run out of Ideas, so It’s Time to Rank Bread

May 17, 2018 by

Fuck it, we ranked the bread.
read more

No Shit! New Portola Will Still Give You Food Poisoning

May 17, 2018 by

As it turns out, new Portola is still steadfast in its unwavering commitment to fucking up your digestive system.  
read more

Over Fortnite? Here’s a New Pastime for UCSB Students!

May 16, 2018 by

A new game of our daily activities and sights in Isla Vista that's designed to help you level up!
read more

Nexustential Crisis: How to Beer Die Bro

May 15, 2018 by and

An exclusive look into the secret life of beer die bros from the genius journalists of Nexustentialism!
read more

The Truth Behind the UCen Bird

May 14, 2018 by

The truth behind the UCen bird is finally revealed with a shocking twist...
read more

Chats with Chad, Mother’s Day Edition: Are Moms Girls?

May 11, 2018 by

Moms. We all have them – even if you don’t have a belly button, like me.
read more

Couple Publicly Spooning Outside Lecture Hall Has Really Good Reason for It We Promise

May 10, 2018 by

It has totally strengthened our relationship.
read more

UC Releases Additional Statement on AFSCME 3299 Strike

May 9, 2018 by

The University of California has released an additional statement regarding their stance on the strike.
read more

Pubes Still Pissed You Shaved Them, Promise Vengeance

May 8, 2018 by

We didn’t say it was easy being well groomed.
read more

Jewish Frat Boy Asks, “Is Eating Pussy Kosher for Passover?”

May 7, 2018 by

And Tiffany asked, “what’s Passover?”
read more

Nice! This Student Didn’t Even Need to Get Laid to Do Walk of Shame

May 3, 2018 by

The Isla Vista Walk of Shame is upon you.
read more

Daddy Yang, You’re Not the Father

May 1, 2018 by

A paternity test revealed that Daddy Yang is in fact not her biological father.
read more

Local Bros Experience the Price of Viral Fame

April 30, 2018 by

You know how some people use the bible as guidance in everyday life? We use Barstool Sports.
read more

New TA Excited to Mansplain to Female Students

April 27, 2018 by

Spring quarter is here and nobody is more excited than freshly minted TA Seth Jameson.
read more

Rodney Raccoon To Run for A.S. President, A.S. Hopefuls Are Shook

April 27, 2018 by

It’s time raccoons get the representation they deserve.
read more