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An Ode to Summers Past

Now that the school year has ended, Kian Karamdashti contemplates how the concept of summer has changed for him.
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The Politics of A Good Night’s Sleep

Examining the social implications of sleep, Kian Karamdashti encourages readers to hit snooze.
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Student Too Embarrassed to Return to Bike Shop, Walks to Class Instead

Pop! Third-year UC Santa Barbara student Anthony Wheeler knew the sound all too well. The back inner tube of his bike had popped and soon the sound of grinding metal on concrete soon grew apparent as ...
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The Border Wall Argument Stands on a Shaky Foundation

Kian Karamdashti pokes holes in national immigration policy and the argument for a wall at the U.S.-Mexican border.
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Quarter-Life Crisis: Facing My Fear of Commitment

At the ripe old age of 21, Kian Karamdashti experiences a major life crisis.
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Growing Up Mixed

Kian Karamdashti examines the difficulties that come with growing up in a mixed-race household, and how that shaped his early adulthood.
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Housemate Gets Laid, Can’t Stop Exclaiming, “Man I Didn’t Sleep at All Last Night!”

Local resident Virgil Nomo had a busy night last night if you know what I mean, but you probably already heard because he won’t shut up about it.
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IV Foot Patrol Arrests Tree for Sitting on Curb

Protests have begun outside Isla Vista Foot Patrol building after many students have called for the release of Tree, who was arrested outside the building in the early morning of Feb. 2 after falling ...
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Budding 21-Year-Old Entrepreneur to Drop Out and Sell Juul Pods to Underage Friends

A 3.87 GPA and multiple summer internship offers were not enough to stop third-year student Niko Teene from dropping out and pursuing financial success in selling Juul pods to his underage friends. Te...
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Why Going Taught Me to Stay a Little Longer

Kian Karamdashti reflects on his feelings about home while studying across the pond.
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Mo Bamba is Over

Mo Bamba,” the hit masterpiece by national treasure “Mudboy” Sheck Wes has passed away this weekend at the hands of the song’s discovery by White people.
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Abroad Bros Realize International Women Hate Them Too

Truly devastating developments have come out of Paris, France today as local “bros” Chad Brohanski and Michael Sendet have realized that European girls hate them even more than American girls back...
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The #Plategate Scandal

It all started approximately three months ago when, after a joyous Sunday morning breakfast, an unidentified member of your house put a dirty plate in the, gasp, clean dish rack.
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Nice! This Student Didn’t Even Need to Get Laid to Do Walk of Shame

The Isla Vista Walk of Shame is upon you.
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Local Bros Experience the Price of Viral Fame

You know how some people use the bible as guidance in everyday life? We use Barstool Sports.
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