In a turn of events that have shocked and befuddled health officials all around the globe, it seems that a recent Instagram trend, known as the push-up challenge, has eradicated all cases of COVID-19 on the planet.
“This is truly unprecedented,” a local health official said. “This is a phenomenon that will change the world forever.”
In the past week, we have seen a rising trend of Instagram challenges. This trend has coincided with a period of time in which much of the globe has participated in social-distancing or quarantining in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. These Instagram challenges typically encompass some sort of quarantine-related activity, such as juggling a toilet paper roll like a soccer ball or taking a picture of your friend group on a Zoom call together with a glass of wine in the frame. After you post your challenge, you are then obliged to nominate a few of your friends to continue the trend. Yet, one challenge seems to not have anything to do with any type of quarantine: the push-up challenge.
“Not going to lie, I wasn’t even nominated by anyone,” said local student Chad Brohanski. “I just wanted that baddie Becky from the 65 block to see that I’m able to do 24 pushups in a row. She just followed me back on Instagram, so I took my shirt off and went for it.”
While this specific challenge was expected to result in a growing number of gym bros flocking to Instagram to show off their physical prowess, another consequence has arisen — the decline of confirmed COVID-19 cases.
“To be honest, I saw three of my homies post the challenge on their instagram, and I decided I didn’t even want to break quarantine to hang out with them anymore,” said local student Barney Cuthbery. “COVID-19 already took Deltopia away from me. I won’t let my douchebag friends take away my pride.”
Even females have virtually stopped going outside because of this growing trend of males doing push-ups on Instagram.
“I honestly thought he was really cute and was going to break quarantine for Chad,” said Becky Swanson. “But then I saw him post a video of him on the ground of his dirty room doing push-ups, and I lost all attraction. I’m staying inside.”
With the correlation established, even Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has endorsed the challenge.
“Stay inside, wash your hands and keep doing the push-up challenge. We have got to flatten the curve!”
Kian Karamdashti wants to remind young people to practice social distancing, keep their quarantine group closed and stay vigilant — not only for themselves, but for those more vulnerable around them!